


Dry Clean Only

by dsa_archivist



Category: due South
Genre: Humor, M/M, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-08-16
Updated: 2000-08-16
Packaged: 2018-11-11 06:15:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11142591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dsa_archivist/pseuds/dsa_archivist
Summary: Ray is clueless.  Will Vanna buy him a vowel?





	Dry Clean Only

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived at [Due South Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Due_South_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Due South Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/duesoutharchive).

  
Dry  
Clean Only

Standard Disclaimer. Use with caution. Reading slash can be addictive and has been known to make people unreliable for normal conversation. For example, breaking into tears when someone says, "We're out of peaches." is apparently abnormal. Please send comments, questions, compliments, and otters to sdelcul@mail.com or visit http://www.members.xoom.com/dueSou.

# Dry Clean Only

I'm bored. B-o-r-e-d. I'm bored, you're bored, he-she-or-it is bored, we're bored, they're bored. Who cares about them? I'm bored.

Looking around for something to read, he spotted a magazine half under the seat, one of his sister's useless subscriptions. Idly leafing past articles on losing weight, (not a problem thanks to all the exercise he got running after Fraser), menopause (NOT a problem thank you very kindly), fifty easy ways to decorate your kitchen (Ma would kill him for changing something in her kitchen), and the latest fall fashions (Wouldn't he look lovely in that red miniskirt?), he waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And finally, he asked himself why he was sitting here waiting for Fraser, when he didn't even know how long Fraser would be. He could be doing a hundred and one other things but instead he was sitting here, waiting. He should go and do something, anything. Run his own errands, wash the Riv, sleep, watch tv . . . But he couldn't think of doing anything without Benny.

So he waited.

And waited.

He picked up the magazine again. Willing to read almost anything, he flipped it open at random.

`7. While walking down the` street he sees a mugger steal somebody's purse. Does he:  
a. Miss the entire thing because he's watching Miss Thing with the short skirt.  
b. Run and hide.  
c. Ignore the situation forcing you to run in heels.  
d. Call the police on his cell phone.  
e. Call the police and comfort the victim until help arrives.  
f. Run after the purse snatcher until he catches him and make him return the purse and apologize.

F.

`13. Does he want children?`  
a. No way. And he puts *you* in charge of the birth control.  
b. Don't know, haven't asked.  
c. Yes he's already got three by another woman.  
d. Yes, in a few years.  
e. Yes, he wants sons. At least five of them, enough for a sports team.  
f. Yes, and he'd make an excellent father.

F.

`19. Your best friend hits on` him. He:  
a. Takes her up on it right then and there.  
b. Turns her down while you're watching, but asks her out behind your back.  
c. Goes out with her secretly, and denies it when confronted.  
d. Comes clean when asked.  
e. Turns her down.  
f. Brings it straight to you.

F.

`For every A you've circled,` give your man no points.  
For every B, one point.  
For every C, two points.  
For every D, three points.  
For every E, four points.  
For every F, five points and congratulations.  
Then add up all your points to determine what kind of guy you've got.

It only took him a moment to add up all the points.

`(95-100) Prince Charming.  
He may be too good to be true. He's handsome, intelligent, and honest. Your man is willing to accept orders, as long as they conform to the rules of right. He's shy and may have a hard time admitting he has feelings, much less telling you what they are. Strong of will, he easily brings others around to his views. His faults lie mostly in trusting others beyond expectations and being blind to things he doesn't understand. `

Geez. What did he expect some stupid magazine to know? He didn't even know anyone like that. Tossing the magazine into the back seat, he sat back to wait for Fraser.


End file.
